We wake up in the morning, get in our comfortable cars, or hurry up to a seat in the bus and go to a job where we may feel compelled to politely greet everyone or where everyone gets stuck in their small offices and pretends to be happy.
In the evening, we go back to our homes for which we pay each month from the material comfort box and we sit tired on the couch so that next day we wake up ready (or not) to continue the routine.
For many people this is life. Life on automatic pilot. They survive but do not live. But weren’t we born to live?
I was living like that for a while too. It was … comfortable.
Then life danced with me. A crazy dance like an unclear choreographed in which everyone stamps on each other’s feet and does not even bother to apologize. I felt like I was wasting my time at a job that physically and mentally tired me. My friends were not my friends, and the house I was living in seemed feeble and uncomfortable. It was as if everyone had something against me, and I was answering them with anger.
Some thoughts were tempting me to make a change in my life but I was afraid. I felt tired and above all, frustrated that I did not have the courage to act. I was making various plans that I abandoned quite quickly. I felt in someone else’s shoes, worn too much and I just needed to get rid of them as soon as possible.
«You cannot do the same things over and over again and expect different results»
So I started making decisions to keep up. What did I do specifically?
First of all, I began to observe my routine and realized I was on the automatic pilot. I was a spectator of my life…
Then I decided I wanted to really know myself. How? I gave myself time. Time with me! I started reading personal development books and all sorts of motivational messages that helped me not to abandon. Most of the time, however, I was just standing and listening to my thoughts.
That was the best decision. Why? Because I could be just myself and see myself as I am and find out more answers to my questions. It did not work out from the beginning. At first, I was staring at the walls and I could only hear an endless echo. It was strange to be just me, but gradually the answers started to appear. And so I really knew. And when you know the truth about yourself, you are no longer an easy-to-handle tool by the rest of the world. Your truth is your truth and you embrace it like a soft pillow before bedtime.
Of course, I did not like everything I found but I had patience with myself and everything I felt then.
Gradually, I have begun to be present in everything I do, talk or think and do it with great care. When I was eating, I was just at the table and I was not thinking about what I would do later. When I was on the bus, I was just there and I was curiously looking out of the window. When I was walking down the street, I was observing things around me. And so, my mind stopped wondering and thinking of yesterday or tomorrow.
I have noticed houses near me that I have not seen before. I remember taking a half an hour bus route to my doctor even though there was a medical center on my street.
Then I realized that I did not like many habits and I started to make changes. At the workplace, in the house, in behavior, in ideas, in everyday work, in the friends circle… Practically, everything that did not bring satisfaction at the end of the day, I changed.
We do our habits then our habits make us. That’s why some changes took place immediately while others took some time to be developed.
Further on, I gave up the old patterns and beliefs. I realized that many of them did not belong to me and slowed me down. So, like a computer, I press restart. For each program, I asked myself: Is this my idea? If so, where did I learn it from? Do I need it? Is it useful for my development? If the answer did not please me, I would bin it. For example, I was very convinced that life is tough and you have to fight to live; therefore, I was struggling. I realized that I had not even lived enough to reach this conclusion that had been deeply implemented the society. I replaced this idea with another one I wanted to experience, such as ‘life is easy and fulfilling!’ So I changed everything that did not correspond to my new values.
At one point I got stuck and turned to a life coach that helped me get back on my chosen path. And so I started taking control of my life.
This whole process was a long one but once I really decided I want to get out of the automated pilot I was able to really enjoy my life and be a happy person. I stop searching for the approval of others or their company. I did not make any compromises or delays. And above all, I learned to be myself and love who I am.
So no matter what program you create, if you feel your life unfolds next to you and you are just a spectator, join in!
I encourage you to grab the helm and sail wherever you need to. Really explore and accept what you discover.
Life can put you in unprecedented attempts, but if you take care of embarking on the right boat, all waves will carry you where you need and you can change the direction of your journey anytime!