Why you’re the only one standing in your way

Why you’re the only one standing in your way

150 150 Adina

I see people who walk as if their shoes are made of cement and their failures, mistakes, regrets, and problems are tied to their souls and to their present.

What they seem to forget is that they made that knot. They can always leave the burden behind and breathe in the present. But they won’t.

How come?

‘Worrying is like sitting in a rocking chair. It gives you something to do  but it doesn’t get you anywhere.’

So many got used to carrying their worries and used to overthink. They don’t know how to live differently, cause that’s how they’ve lived, that’s how they’ve invested their energy.

For them, living in other ways means taking risks to get there. And taking risks is not something that a person used to live in such a way, would easily do. These people will also care a lot about what others say about them and will easily define their life based on other people’s words and past/current situations. They will let their standards be defined by the society.

For them, the risk means changing their path in order to live a happier state of life. But in reality, the real risk is spending their years in a miserable way.

People like that will often just talk about change but from a victim perspective. They don’t look for support, they look for hearing themselves talking about how miserable their life is and how others are to be blamed for it.

From them, you will hear a lot of “I could have done…”, “I should have acted…”, “if I had the chance, the luck…”. It’s also a lot of self-blame as years go.

‘When the day is over, let it go. Don’t dwell on what you could’ve or should’ve done. Tomorrow is another day and another chance.’

I remember my mother’s words for every time I was trying to convince her to make a change (something that I’ve realized later on I did not have to do it, learning that everybody is responsible for themselves). She used to complain a lot and still does. Her biggest excuses are the world and herself. “What would people say?”, “ I am alone, I can’t do the change”.

But being alone does not mean being incapable.

These kinds of people will not only stop themselves but will also try to pull others back from leaving and making the change they need for their path.

I’ve secretly planned during all my childhood and visualized all possibilities I could have visualized, so I could make my life better and when I decided to change the course, setting a new direction, my mom was there to slow me down, telling me all sort of wrong things that could happen if I do this or that.

The thing is, situations will happen anyway, good or bad, and yes, we generally attract what we think and believe. So if you want to make a change but you’re too afraid this and that will happen, you won’t do it. But if you see more the opportunities and less the negative side, you’ll push it forward, caring less about what others think of your actions.

This does not make you selfish, you simply put yourself first in order to get a better version of yourself and, if needed, give to others.

‘Knowing you need to make a change isn’t enough. You’ve got  to find the guts to do it.’

Life is not easy but also is not a fight. It’s somehow made of millions of decisions that brings us to our current and future state of living.

We can always change the course of our life. And if you think you can or can’t, you are right. As you may know by now, your thoughts create your reality. And if you overthink, thoughts will control you and keep you inside the box with the door wide open. You won’t get out if you’ve worn for such a long time the shades of negative thoughts. Unless you start adding a new habit in your routine, getting your brain used with new ways and getting back control over the mind.

The good thing is that some people will come to the realization that they create their traps or there is a set of beliefs installed in their minds by their parents. And they will start asking questions. Some will quit and go back blaming others for their way of living. It’s easier to do so.

You will recognize these people in the way they talk. They don’t want you to tell them solutions exist, they want you to agree with their misery and feel sorry for them.

And some will move on, looking for answers, looking for ways to grow confidence and stretch themselves.

We all have a choice, but only a few will apply it. Stop holding yourself back. If you aren’t happy, make a change.

What’s your choice of Today?

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